Hello there dear readers, readers of whom I fear are nonexistent, here I am talking to myself as usual, but then again i guess that's what writing and reading is. Talking to yourself. A little voice inside your head, repeating back the words you are seeing in that little voice, my own voice really, or is it? It's a voice that nobody will ever hear which is pretty odd. When you think does that little voice talk you through what is happening in front of you, I don't think it does but I can't be sure. What about deaf people, people who have never heard, do they still get a little voice inside their head? Does anyone get this voice? Am I hearing voices? I don't think so, but hey, this has got weird so I’m going to start again and pretend this never happened...
... Hey everyone! So yeah, what with this being the first paragraph in this blog entry and with no other weird paragraphs coming before it, I guess I better explain as to why once again my absence from this page has been so long, so taunt, so very bitter in the tear stained eyes of this blog. If I had to liken this blog to an animal, I would liken it to a kitten, a little kitten left alone without any milk for far too long. But daddies home blog, and I’ve got all the milk your little bloggy tongue can handle. So dear humans,blogs and kittens, open up your mouths and I’ll pour some satisfyingly milky memories your way.
Today was the day I ended my educational university life. I didn't end it peacefully either, I sat a devilishly difficult exam on 'Stalin to Putin' - oh boy oh boy. Instead of taking voluntary university euthanasia, I decided to climb to the highest point of the highest tower, urinate on a Soviet Flag, clutch a picture of Stalin and throw myself off while singing the Soviet national anthem. The exam went badly, I attempted to revise but my heart wasn't in it. If I fail it's my fault, i accept that, blah blah blaaaaaaaah. After the exam we had a little Russian history student meet up/farewell with our teacher in the common room, she is a lovely/crazy Russian woman and she cooked us some Soviet specialities. Pretty tasty, fair play to her. Although I have been a bit lacklustre with my university attendance, it was still pretty sad to think this was the last time I had to be in uni, around fellow students, something I find it hard to get my head around. The people in my classes really are fantastic people, interesting, crazy people, I feel disappointed I haven't made more effort getting to know these people when I had the chance, I wish them all the luck i can possibly give them in the future - good Karma to you all.
So where do I go from here. Is it time to grow up? I don't want to, I really don't, but I guess that's the way it's going. All my friends are growing up, entering the 'real World' - taking their place in the rat race. I don't particularly like this real World to be honest - it sounds like a place void of fun, where dreams turn into stark realities, where the sparkle in a youthful eye gets lost in the glare of monotony. I have a lot of respect and admiration for adults who keep in touch with their youthful side, you can tell who they are, they are the ones who are loving life, not just living it. I want to love life; I do love life really all things considered. I guess I’ll migrate planets sooner or later into this bleak 'Real World' - but I have no doubt at every occasion I’ll hitch a ride and zoom back to the World i know and love. How beautiful.
Although i do love life, and appreciate every day - I still can't help but hate, not individuals but situations and feelings. Feelings are the bane of my life, if the bane of my life had a bane of its own baney life, it would be feelings. Thing is with feelings is they can be amazing, they can take you to such happy extremities, but sadly this never lasts I have come to learn. I fear I have been turned into a cynic - the human race is something I’m not sure about. I sometimes feel that I think differently to anyone else, and that there is something that I’m missing. How can people be horrible to others, how could you want to hurt someone’s feelings, how could you ever feel it's ok to make someone feel so bad in themselves. It's beyond me. If anyone does happen upon the answer please send it to me, I'm available for contact via mobile phone, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Email, postal service, carrier pigeon or by face to face human contact. Some people are selfish, that's it. I myself am selfish to be honest. But I sometimes think of others, no actually scrap that I always think of others, although I’m no Saint and neither are you.
That last paragraph was a bit deep, so for the next 30 seconds I suggest everyone thinks of a puppy chasing its own tail.....
....ok done. I love it when my dog chases his tail, I watch him for ages, little scamp!
I feel that now, that this little blog session may have reached its pinnacle. Like a Sherpa who has reached the top of Mt. Everest, or a dung beetle that has pushed its massive pile of shit to erm.....where ever they push it too. I'm feeling in a bit of a crazy mood, so I think I will end this with a little poem i wrote. It's a bit depressing but hey, I enjoy it.
So long. Farewell. And take this poem as a gift:
Happiness comes and goes,
it's a most peculiar thing.
It'll make you shine and be admired,
like a juicy diamond ring.
But then when it decides to leave,
it walks right out the door.
Your admiration falls apart,
and the juicy ring,
will shine,
no more.
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